On Wednesday, March 16, 2011 our world was turned upside down when we were told during a routine sonogram (that the entire family attended) that our 4th child was “sleeping”. This left me and my family stopped in our tracks, confused, and gut-wrenched. We didn’t know where to go. I had 5 days to prepared for the worst day of my life….a chemically induced labor (Or medically classified as an abortion) and deliver our 14-16 week sleeping little girl.
I have an amazing husband, family, and friends who enabled us to prepare for not only this day, but for a day that we could respectfully bury our lifeless little body. The day after being told about our sleeping baby, the OBGyn consulted us about the delivery process that would take place in 4 days. When I asked about my little one and where would she go, she said that the hospital would “discard” the remains. REMAINS? I asked my ObGyn if I could arrange for our own burial and she said most parents leave the remains at the hospital because it’s too expensive to do anything else and that funeral homes don’t mess with a baby of that size.
We wanted our baby treated with dignity and respect. We delivered our baby 12 hours after being in labor and 15 minutes after a fellow church parishioner came onto her shift to be our delivery nurse. I later realized that the Good Lord gave me a wonderful gift of waiting 12 hours and 15 minutes for the delivery nurse he wanted us to have by our side. This nurse’s care and compassion for our lifeless little girl was admired and amazing for my husband and I to witness. Yet what we later learned was our nurse’s fellow coworkers and boss criticize her for taking the time to deal with this dead fetus and the family. Through a collection of wonderful friends and a wonderful funeral home, we were able to bury our baby for a nominal fee and grieve appropriately.
Since losing our little girl for “no medical reason” (we did tests to determine she was perfect), I have felt she was lost for a reason. Through prayer, guidance, and support "Mary’s Angels" has been launched in hopes of helping women and families during their difficult time of a miscarriage or stillborn birth.